It’s Seems So Unfair: The Life and Texts of one Miss Rachel


Did you ever meet that friend that makes your LOL for real? The one that makes you bust out a loud HAH in the most inappropriate times? You know the ones that make you laugh so loud that your boss than tells you that you laugh to loud and would appreciate it if you didn’t? Well, I hope you have because it kind of makes life that much more delightfully random.

As you can tell by the above screen cap, Rachel is sad about Selena. I don’t even think she was born yet on the day that she died, regardless it made her sad. What really made this tweet priceless is that I received this last night .. out of the blue.. It was just sent. I laughed out loud… in the subway station … by myself… and everyone stared.


This happened on a particularly hot day in July. Rachel isn’t even 25 yet.


Celine Dijon everybody! (Like seriously where does she find these?)


and orgies…

The first time that I met Rachel was at work. I was actually curious to see who this person who was just hired because she was now doing half of what I did in my position. She was taking away some of my job essentially. I had to size up the competition. I was than asked to train her to do half of my job, so you could imagine I was thrilled. She sat at my desk and stole my job pretty much. I wasn’t too mad because she actually made me laugh in that hell hole of a job. She also double and triple checked her work which made me happy because I like things that are neat and orderly. We became fast friends.

The first time I really thought we could become great friends was when I walked into her office about a week after she started and I walked in to see her stuffing a massive handful of microwave popcorn into her mouth. And when I say massive I mean huge. Like man hand massive. She looked at me and didn’t flinch. All she said was “I need to lose 5 pounds to fit into my dress.” She had no shame. We were one and the same.


Rachel isn’t just funny, she is also extremely compassionate. She cheered me up by fabulous Tinder and J-Swipe (Jewish Tinder) stories while I was going through some pretty tough times a few months ago. She also arranged a fabulous group purchase of some great presents to cheer me up when my mom died.


So, it is to be said that she and I will always be friends. We are years apart in age, but because of my Peter Pan like ability to never grow up (I tried to but it didn’t work) this doesn’t matter.


A few weeks ago Rachel accompanied me and a few kick ass Dyke activist friends to a coffee date to celebrate my return to Toronto. She did it. She enthralled the dykes with her I love dyke attitude. I was proud of her. I also watched her use a wrench for the first time. She helped me build my IKEA bed. So what if she bled on my bed frame? So what if she screwed a bolt in backwards? So what if she left me midway through the build to smoke with my roommates? She showed up and tried.


One day Rachel will meet a nice Jewish man or woman to marry and live happily ever after. I know this. I better be invited. And if I am invited we will remain friends regardless of where we end up and I am grateful.

Thank you for being you Rachel and don’t ever change.



It’s Seems So Unfair: The Life and Texts of one Miss Rachel

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