Mona Lisa’s Eyebrows

Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. I have seen the Mona Lisa twice in my life (for real) and about a million times (for fake). I have been to the Louvre, where the original is kept behind thick layers of plexiglass, two times. I have been to my Grandma’s house, where a tiny little replica of the Renaissance cover girl was kept more times than I can count.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Charlotte Perkins Gilman, early 20th Century feminists, painted thier lips as a symbol of emancipation when they marched in the 1912 Suffragette Rally in New York City. Today the average woman spends about $2000 in thier lifetime on lipstick. I think I have paid about $40.00 in my lifetime on the waxy pigment. The taste and smell make me want to gag. When I was the Team Lead of the Toronto Dyke March two years ago, I met a fierce group of folks that called thier liptick ‘war paint’. I think Stanton and Gilman would be proud.

Archaeologists recently found a 2000 year old sandal with specific impressions on them that looked like woven material. This Roman artifact clearly proves that socks were worn with sandals back in the day. Last month, when I was visiting my dad in Vancouver, he was wearing sports socks with his sandals. This contemporary artifact clearly proves that my father has continued the tradition on proudly.

Dorothy’s gingham dress in The Wizard of Oz is actually blue and pink. The movie executives thought that white looked underwhelming in the new Technicolor process that was being used so they used pink. This phenomenon was kind of replicated during the epic “Do you see Gold or Blue?” dress debaucle taking over the internet, however there was no camera trick. It turns out we all see colour different.

I saw gold by the way, and I have eyebrows.

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Mona Lisa’s Eyebrows

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